Mark Cuban goes and becomes a contestant on the next go-round!!! That according to Sports Illustrated, which used to actually report on sports ... but that's another matter.
The Mavs owner will follow in the footsteps of Emmitt Smith and a host of other sports personalities to strap on the dancin' shoes to compete on one of TV's most addictive reality contests.
The new season begins Sept. 24 -- about a week or so before the Mavs' preseason. Hey, who knows, maybe Cube will get some pointers from the fat guys who bust a move at Mavs games. Wouldn't surprise me if Cuban competes to win. He's only got Wayne Newton and Jane Seymour to deal with. Oh, and one of the Spice Girls.
On a recent episode of 30 Rock, pompous NBC exec Jack Donaghy was in awe of the network's 10-second Internet sitcom, Makin' It Happen.
The show begins with the husband entering the front room, announcing "Honey, I'm home," to which his wife, sitting on the couch, sarcastically responds, "Oh, great!" Canned laughter ensues. The credits rapidly roll.
Thanks to The Minisode Network, life is now imitating art. The Minisode Network offers whittled versions of several Sony Pictures Televisions' old series, billed as "the shows you love. Only shorter."
Instead of 10 seconds, however, The Minisode Network adds a bit more substance to the style. The shows here are edited to four to six minutes long. And you get a short commercial.
Right now, the episode choices are limited. The Facts of Life and Silver Spoons, are, yawn, among the choices. But the hope here is that the menu of classic sitcoms will expand.
Gunsmoke aired for 633 episodes. Boiled down to six-minute "minisodes," can you imagine watching 20 years of Gunsmoke in less than 64 hours? Given the four-minute formula, we could see all 180 episodes of Seinfeld in 12 hours.
It's all very exciting. I can't wait to sit out by the cement pond and watch 274 Beverly Hillbillies episodes in 18 hours.
NBC's Brian Williams brought his traveling road show to Fort Worth tonight, broadcasting from the banks of the Trinity River, with Cowtown's skyline displayed prominently in the background.
All I could think was, "Wouldn't it be cool if 'Snort' and the rest of the Fort Worth herd suddenly meandered into the TV screen ... ?" Didn't even see any horseback riders or joggers.
The NBC anchor didn't just come for the scenery -- he actually aired a "news" report on all the gas drilling going on around here, the pros and cons, and later an interview with a local woman whose loved one recently died in the Iraq war. Not mining much new stuff here, but hey ... we're not complaining.
Wonder if the NBC crew headed over to the Stockyards or Joe T.'s for a feed afterward. Probably, or something like it.
I remember watching him on my black-and-white console Zenith with Johnny Olson imploring the contestants to "Come on down!!"
Actually, I remember Bob more for his Truth or Consequences game shows. In those days, I sat glued to the set, watching game shows. I swear that Mark Goodson and Bill Todman were my babysitters.
In Bob's sign-off on The Price is Right this morning, he was concise and classy, thanking viewers for inviting him into their home for 50 years and reminding everyone, of course, to have their pets neutered.
It looks like now that Bob will retire to play golf. After seeing him punch out Happy Gilmore, I know he can defend himself out there.
All the water cooler chit-chat this morning is about The Sopranos finale, so Albino Bowler and I feel obligated to weigh in...
When the screen went black during the diner scene, we, like many people (and action figures) started cursing our DVRs. But David Chase was playing puppetmaster, and, well, some people don't like having their chains yanked. AB kinda likes it. And, after initial frustration, I'm coming around to the subtle sendoff Chase gave his mob family. Tony and his family will always have their heads on a swivel, wondering when the whackings will come.
So I'm channel surfing Monday night and I land on the Miss Universe pageant right in the thick of the evening gown competition. Haven't seen so much boob glitter since last week's Dancing With the Stars finale.
And there was Miss USA, Rachel Smith, one of 10 finalists, embarking on her cat walk for the judges. Elegantly, she began her turn and strut ... uh huh, that's right ... I'm hot, you know it ... And then it happened ...
Boom, she fell right on her rhinestone behind. "Down goes Rachel, down goes Rachel!!" (Watch it here.)
It was the least graceful thing I've seen since ... hmmm, let me think ... oh, yes, since Tony Romo dropped a perfect snap to lose a playoff game against Seattle in January. Coincidentally, guess who was one of the celebrity judges for the Miss Universe pageant?
That's right, Mr. Cowboy QB himself had a front row seat for the flop. He had to be dying inside.
To make matters worse, Miss USA actually advanced to the final five, and when she picked a judge's name from the fishbowl to answer a question, you knew who she would draw: Tony, Tony, Tony!
His question couldn't have been more ironic: "If you could relive one moment in your life, what would it be." Well, we all know what Tony's would be, don't we. She gave some lame answer about Oprah and South Africa, but you could barely hear her because she was being booed by the crowd in Mexico. (What's up with that?)
The whole thing was surreal. Especially a year after the Tara Conner fiasco. But there was Donald Trump, overlord of this and the Miss USA pageants, in the front row, looking as smug and freakish as ever. Tony Romo needs to start associating with a higher class of people. Like Carrie Underwood!
As for the pageant, Miss Japan won and Miss USA finished fourth runner up -- not bad for falling on her buttisimo. But rumor has it she was going to lodge a protest: That runway was too slick!!
Apolo Anton Ohno, the soul-patch wearing Olympic speed skater, and his pure platinum partner Julianne, glided to the finish line on the fourth season of Dancing With The Stars.
Like a manchild matador, he tamed the savage beasts in the show's largely female audience and became the second straight athlete to be king of the ballroom. (Give it up for Emmitt one more time!)
And it didn't hurt that Apolo's partner looks like a Christina Aguilera Barbie. They were the couple straight from central casting, which meant that, in the end, Joey Fatone and his boy band moves didn't really stand a chance.
Two final thoughts: 1) I think this season we saw a real dropoff in audience appeal of the celebs. And the suspense seemed more forced than ever. Much like Survivor and Idol have tweaked their formats to stay fresh, it's time for DWTS to do the same.
2) Has there ever been a show that had a bigger budget for boob glitter? My gosh, I couldn't take my eyes off Samantha's halter-top dress all night. ... On second thought, maybe they shouldn't mess with the format.
Talk about a dance marathon. This show has been on for nearly an hour and 40 minutes, and we've gotten almost nowhere.
I nearly pulled an A.J. Soprano during the 20-minute self-congratulatory clip montage on the global success of Dancing With The Stars. Then we had to watch Paulina and Leeza treat the ballroom like a butcher shop.
Have they no shame??
It did remind me why I thought this season has a real letdown. At least we got some Emmitt and Cheryl time. And Heather's leg made it through one more mambo.