Okay, I'm not sure how well I managed to the last part of that, but I'm going to tell myself I did. Tonight
fellow education reporter Shirley Jinkins and I represented the newspaper in the Stock Show's annual celebrity goat-milking contest. It's one of those things you agree to do because it sounds kind of fun, and then you're actually there holding a cup looking down at a live creature thinking, "Oh. My. God." We didn't win, but it was one of those educational experiences that's just "so Fort Worth," as a dear friend likes to say. So here's what I learned:
1) Size matters. Shirley and I got out in the first round. The goat only produced maybe two drops for us. I lovingly held her, and Shirley performed her best milking techniques she had practiced. But the goat's, um, equipment was just too small to collect a good amount of milk, a Stock Show crew member noted to me after the fact.
2) Stay calm. Also new to the contest this year Gary "With a T" Hayes from 97.9 The Beat. Somehow, he talked his cousin Keshia Sylvester into holding the goat for him while he milked. Only he got a little squirmy getting close to the udders, which then made the goat a little squirmy in return as seemed to be looking for an escape route.
3) Dress the part. Special contestants this year were Swedish television personalities Erik Ekstrand and Mackan Edlund (the team on the left in this picture). The two are making their way across America in a road trip that apparently includes taking on whatever crazy adventure they can find. They took on this challenge and even advanced to the second round. And while their camera crew's sweater attire gave a hit of that out-of-towner look, the duo did their best to blend in with appropriately styled cowboy boots and western wear.
4) Do whatever Deborah Ferguson does. It's hard for this North Side girl to say Trimble Tech girl beat her. But Ferguson and her husband Steve Lamb, of WBAP, had some serious skills. They were swift in getting straight to the action. Ferguson easily won her prelim round milking her goat with great speed. But the goats were drying up in the final round. It was Ferguson/Lamb versus 95.9 The Ranch's team of Justin Frazzell and Taylor Scott vyingfor the win. Ferguson and her husband seemed to be on their way for a win, when the boys from the Ranch came rushing up on the surprised couple as they carried milk to the finish line. In the end, the two teams tied.
-Eva-Marie Ayala